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Donald Trump arrived for dinner with Theresa May, and his hair got out of the car before he did

Golden clouds have been hanging low within the late night mild over Blenheim Palace when, a lot to the shock of the ready dignitaries, one other one glided out of the Presidential limousine and hovered above its passenger door.

It took some time to work out what was happening, however sure, Donald Trump’s hair actually had acquired out his automotive earlier than he did.

It might simply be the inevitable consequence of a tall man, stepping out of an elevated hummer limo, then pausing for a while earlier than stepping ahead. However it might even be that the world’s most enduring tonsorial thriller might the truth is be some David Copperfield fashion phantasm, that the person’s hair and physique have at all times been separate entities, held collectively as an ingeniously reworked model of the previous lady sawn in half trick.   

Nevertheless it implies that these ready for a tantalising glimpse of the Chief of the Free World are gifted a number of lengthy seconds to benefit from the planet’s most well-known haircut in good isolation. To hint their eyes alongside its sweeping topiary, to rise and fall over it its mushy contours. Seen fully by itself, indifferent from the anthropomorphised gob that lives beneath it, it clearly resembles the form of overly bold spun sugar mission that collapses with devastating impact proper on the finish of Bake Off: The Professionals.

Theresa May was approaching by this level, sporting a sweeping crimson ballgown and steep crimson heels, and searching by no means extra just like the just-for-the-lols contestant on Strictly that’s about to style Youtube immortality by way of the Argentine tango.

From round fifty metres away, the speedy query was why had the President introduced a six foot saffron chrysanthemum with him as a present, however as he handed it over to a grateful wanting Philip Might it turned shortly obvious it was the truth is the First Girl.

Earlier than setting off on his European jolly, the President had remarked on the White Home garden that the UK was in “considerably turmoil”, a actuality that may solely have been confirmed to him had he not arrived by helicopter and truly pushed previous the 4 hundred yard lengthy protest that had assembled on the highway as much as Blenheim Palace fully for his profit.

The protests have been extra entrepreneurial than indignant at first, probably the most skilled wanting billboard being the one perched on the again of a decide up truck, and promoting the companies of Sherwood Kitchens of close by Whitney.

Nearer the gates a big black and yellow effort screamed “SHITLER GO HOME.” If its designer was irritated that Donald Trump didn’t drive previous, hopefully they are going to be conscious that, as one of many invited British dignitaries, Chris Grayling did, so it was not a wholly wasted effort.

Whoever had taken the difficulty to erect a big FREE TOMMY ROBINSON banner, decked out in stars and stripes about forty miles too far south on the M40 is evidently unaware that Presidents of the USA now dwell within the age of air journey, which is able to come as a shock to nobody.

Individuals who describe themselves as “protocol consultants” for the advantage of the 24 hour information channels have allowed themselves to change into deeply confused over fairly what this Presidential go to is. It’s not a “state go to”, it’s a “working go to”, however it comes with a grand banquet at Churchill’s birthplace, tea with the queen and a navy parade. 

It had been assumed this was a compromise to maintain everybody completely happy. On-line petition signing Brits could be placated by its official non-state visithood, whereas concurrently the Presidential mind is likely to be stored distracted lengthy sufficient by Her Majesty alongside numerous males in frocks with trumpets to persuade himself it was. 

All of which matches a good distance in direction of explaining the in any other case unlikely determination to ship Disgraced Former Defence Secretary and, since Monday, Really Most Skilled Senior Minister In The Authorities, Liam Fox, to satisfy the President off the steps of Air Power One at Stansted.

So far as the home viewers is anxious, what might be a higher slight for a visiting President than to land at Stansted and have Liam Fox ready for you? That is an indignity so extreme it’s but to be dared even with Ryanair passengers.

And but, because the President positioned his foot on the Tarmac, he didn’t seem conscious he was coping with anybody extra vital than a very self-assertive baggage handler. 

It’s been stated earlier than, however it’s no much less true. Nobody does these items just like the Brits.

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